Do you find yourself believing what others tell you about yourself or what others say about you? We have and so often we have found ourselves not giving it a second thought if we truly even believe what has been said or not. They said it, so it must be true. These comments and opinions can easily become a part of us. We can hold them as truths in our life without ever stopping to ask if we even believe those things.
When you take someone’s advice or feedback for your own life, you need to consider if what they are saying is true for YOU. No one else is you. No one knows what is in your heart, no one lives your life, and no one wakes up every day as you. Even if the feedback you are receiving is well thought out and coming from a good place, the person giving you feedback isn't you. Only you can know what's best for you!
If you need help deciphering when an opinoin or feedback is worthy of your time and attention Here are a few steps to help you!
1. Is the source credible and trustworthy?
Sometimes, hopefully a lot of the time, the answer is yes, otherwise you wouldn’t be taking it to heart so much. We can easily take to heart what a complete stranger says to us when we aren’t doing so well or in a vulnerable state. Take some time to really ask yourself if this person is credible and trustworthy.
2. Is this comment/feedback coming from a place of love or fear?
This is a MAJOR KEY. If it is coming from a place of love then it's worth listening to. Just listening to it though and working to not attach yourself to it, or automatically identify with it.
If it is coming from a place of their own fear then we would recommend to proceed with caution. We each have our own lived experiences and have so much to offer within that, but if someone is telling us something because of their own fear based story then that is not information we're going to spend our attention on.
Love: worth listening to
Fear: more than likely not going to be helpful
3. Sit with what is being said.
Honestly look within yourself and your life and sit with whatever is being said. Is this true for you? Is it not? How is it landing for you? Initial gut reaction to that comment or opinion?
It is okay if someone you love, who is credible, and coming from a place of love says something that isn’t landing well with you. You are YOU, no one else is.
4. Affirm what is truth for you and let the rest go.
If someone's advice/feedback isn't true for you, kindly thank them and move on. You know yourself, your life, and your heart better than anyone else! We do not need to believe something someone else said simply because they are family or a close friend.